Right before bed, Rebekah made a little present for me. As I was changing her diaper, she gets chatty.
“I like my poop.”
“You do?”
“It’s a happy poop.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes. I poop on you. POOP!”
This is pretty much how the vast majority of my conversations go over the course of any given week. And my wife wonders why I can’t hold an adult conversation anymore.
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A friend dropped by last night. I have a little Mac Mini hooked up to my TV and the screen saver is set to my iPhoto pictures. A picture came up, black and white, clearly decades old and I said, “That’s my mom on the left.” She is maybe 6 in the picture.
My friend says, “Who is that on the left?”
“My mom’s sister.”
“She’s hot.”
“She’s probably 13 in that picture.”
“We will never speak of this again. And you aren’t allowed to blog about it either.”
I am ignoring that last request.
The second was this morning. A co-worker made a joke, which I followed up with a Minneapolis men’s restroom joke. A few minutes later, this exchange:
Me: i only hate you because i love you
Him: wanna go to the men’s room?
whoa, that even surprised me
Me: maybe later, i just went with mike
Sometimes, work is fun.
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while i leave it up to you to guess how many of these i say (often), here is a list of 50 things you shouldn’t utter including:
This is my favorite Creed song.
We met on eHarmony.com.
So I was reading The Fountainhead …
Id like to order the NASCAR-themed checks, please.
and my favorite:
I respect the jurys verdict. But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive. Therefore, I am commuting the portion of Mr. Libbys sentence that required him to spend thirty months in prison.
[via fimoculous]
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me: let’s say i gave you money.
roxy: um…
me: let’s say i gave you money in order to have a 3some. would you be more or less disgusted by this?
roxy: stop right now.
me: what if i gave you 5000 dollars? would you feel gross for basically giving in to prostitution? or would you take the money and realize how important it was to me?
roxy: i’m not having this conversation.
me: but really, i can see both sides. which would it be?
roxy: …
people wonder how she puts up with me. and, in typing this out, i realize that perhaps they have a point.
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That made me laugh, love it!
The Notorious M.E.G. :: feb 05 2007 :: 7:10 pm
everyone has their price. hers is apparently much higher. i thought you were practicing being a good kitty??? no??? as you say, go eat some cheese.
xoxo.
lisa.meow. :: feb 05 2007 :: 7:30 pm
still bent on the threesome thing, are ya? poor guy.
petunia :: feb 05 2007 :: 10:44 pm
when you say 3some, do you mean with another girl, or with another guy? or does it matter? just saying….
bitzao :: feb 07 2007 :: 1:09 am
Tru that, Bitzao…
At least he left it open for her – Tripp don’t discriminate.
The Notorious M.E.G. :: feb 07 2007 :: 8:16 pm
come home.
the day went in two halves. the big half, which was really nice. and the short half, which was aburdly bad.
lets start with the first half. i spent far too much time online today. which isnt bad in itself. though i am starting to get lectured by friends. pshaw (which i think is one of my new favorite words to type). i spent about 5 hours typing and talking on the phone today. all-in-all, a success. yes. indeed, a rousing success. (prof im spending too much time online? im writing journal entries that sound like instant messanger conversations.) so that was the expanded high point of my day. i dont nor do i need to expand on it here.
the worse part was the evening. linda, mike and melissa came over to watch snl. with me and goose. how did it go? well, until i managed to upset linda (surprise) because she had set crazy expectations (this time, hoping that i would not only ask her to stay over cause she didnt want to go home, bu thtat i would ask her to sleep in my bed and talk to her for hours. for those of you who might not be in the know, this is about as likely…well, it isnt. bottom line: no.). so then i walked her home and managed to leave her in tears on her steps because ‘we dont talk enough.’ how her problem of letting me go (which she said on the walk home) turned into it being my fault that i dont talk to her enough is no surprise to me. thats how she works. she takes very little responsibilty and manages to turn things around so its always about you, never about her. shes also queen of melodrama, so the whole thing gets very old very fast. but i did date her for 4 yers and so im fairly hesistant to curse her out and disappear. least that far. its a mess. and im tired.
for the second night in a row, i didnt get to watch slc punk. tomorrow. this i swear. gggrrrr.
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I’m going to guess: “So I was reading The Fountainhead…”
ray :: jul 05 2007 :: 7:52 pm
guess you havent seen my checkbook.
tripp :: jul 05 2007 :: 10:09 pm