Two posts right in a row. Sorry, but: it's Friday.
And I love you Cheetos.

This is what Friday afternoons were made for.

An article about a man who sleeps with cars. Seriously.

"There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.

"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.

"As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay."

Not quite in the same league as jo buddies, but I'm unsure if that is better or worse.

And no gay stuff.

Because I do love to post the awesome craigslist ads, here is another one in the series for your enjoyment (parts 1, 2 and 3):

KERMIT SEEKS PIGGY

(via mightygodking)

snoop dogg singing in german - not to be missed!

happy friday, all!

Proving that there is something for everyone online, here is a blog documenting what claudia wore in the Babysitters' Club series.

Seriously.
I think this tops the post I saw yesterday about gimps gone wild (nsfw).

And I might the only person to put those two topics/sites together.

This man has robot girlfriends.

Where to begin?

1. I need to set him up with this girl.
2. Eric and I have been texting for weeks about him being a pleasurebot. Don't ask. But yes, more robot sex.
3. Someone, perhaps my boss several months ago, and I were discussing teledildonics. Which might be one of the most fun words to say. Seriously. Try it. Anyway, this article discusses it with a straight face. Sweet!
   

   It has a chatbot which controls the speech. It also has a teledildonic device. Teledildonic devices were invented in the '90s so that people could have sex through an internet connection. If you plug that into a lifesize doll it makes the doll able to feel what is going on. In this way you have the first sex doll that can consent in English to what you are doing to it.

(via fimoculous)

Update: mightygodking posts about dilton doiley (a minor Archie comics character) having a sex doll. It's on the brain today, clearly.

 Author's Note: Yes. I know it's another post about my kids. Bite me.

This morning:
I’m blearily fixing breakfast as Reed sits at the table looking at a book.

“This book was made while we were sleeping.”

“Huh?” I look over and he’s staring at the back cover of the book.

“This book was made while we were asleep.”

“What do you mean?”

“It says it was made in China, so that means it was made while we were sleeping.”

Now, maybe it was just taking a while for all my gears to engage, but the fact that he’d put together where China was in relation to the United States and the fact that the rotation of the Earth relative to the sun would mean that their daytime (or ‘worktime’) is our nighttime just floored me. Nevermind that he’s reading the fine “Made in…” print on the back of a book.

This evening:
Background: Just for reference, my son has at times in the past referred to feces by familial relation. That is, a big poop is the ‘daddy’ poop, a medium one will be the ‘mommy’ and any little ones are the ‘babies.’ Yeah. I know. Weird. Anyway…

Just prior to bed, he runs up to me to tell me he needs to take a dump in a hurry. I hustle him into the bathroom, put on the little seat insert so he won’t fall in and set him up there to do his business.

Splish.

One little pebble falls out.

“I’m done.”

“C’mon, buddy. I know you’ve got more poop than that.”

“Nope.”

“Well, it’s going to be a lot better to try here than to poop in bed tonight, right?”

So, he puts his grunt face on and many more rabbit turds pop out.

“Alright, buddy! See? That’s a whole lot more poop!”

And he says:  “Yeah. It’s a poop family reunion.”