'what to do when youre feeling lonely'

so the people are out. it's a nice day, why shouldnt they be? sunglasses, tank tops. its a little overwhelming. and silly. which just makes it worse. because i dont want acknowledge that i care. i don't want to care. i want to be? stronger. is that the right word? is that what i even want? i think maybe its something like this: i like it. i even like liking it. but i dont want to feel like i need it. i think the word need is what gets me. i dont like needing anything. sleep, love, food, attention, drinks, friends, whatever. needs make you weak. thats fried. how can i even begin to believe that? think that? live like that? im insane.