'ug'

hm. a lot to say i suppose, so lets see.

1. site stuff
   i update and cleaned a lot yesterday - a lot of the 'invention' got straightened out a bit better. i also posted a new project i've been working on for about 6 months - push/pull. i added a new poll and, finally, a favorite icon this means if you bookmark the site now, instead of a generic icon in your favorites/bookmarks, you get a little icon of my face. could be good, could be bad. depends on how much you like my mug. theres still a few things that i would like to get done - the first is really examine the logs, since i havent in months (that is a story unto itself). but for the most, part, im back to concetrating on the site again (as i havent been able to do in about a month).

2. bens post about the comics i posted yesterday
   it wasnt that i didnt like the comics. in fact, its the opposite. i liked them a lot. a lot of the feelings expressed in them i mirror. and thats what is frustrating. the whole thing has fired me up, i find myself in the minority over here (when i was in la over the weekend, i saw plenty of evidence that there are other people out there who think like i do), and i hate feeling like this. i hate the feelings of frustration and desperation that i feel this entire thing has brought out in me. and ben? im more cynical than you would believe. i blame matthew.

3. other links
   before i launch into a diatribe responding to mikes post, i wanted to give you a coupld of links which i am finding helpful.
   http://www.indymedia.org/
   http://www.orvetti.com
   these are news and politics respectively that might give you a different (different, perhaps better, perhaps not) perspective on everything.

4. the whole war thing
   i was going to let the flag thing go. i still am, though with just a few more words. well, hopefully just a few. no, not a few. ah well. my final word on the whole thing.
   1. but there's no reason to believe this campaign is anything other than our leaders are saying it is
      perhaps, mike, perhaps. but then you are taking a huge leap of faith there to begin with. but lets say that you are correct for a moment. even if they are doing it for the reasons you say, we are still killing tons of people who have nothing to do with it. and while you and i have spoken about this at length now, i dont believe that we have any excuse. as i have said to you, if we must be over there, we need to be fighting in a way that minimizes civilans. if life is to be lost and it comes between our armed forces and innocent afghan citizins, i feel it should be our troops.
   2. if you want to talk about numbers, look at our involvment just about anywhere. sure, we havent killed 6,000 afghans. but there is no real way to know how many we have killed already. do we have to kill 6,000 before you say 'oh, well, i guess now we are even and we shouldnt kill anymore innocents over there'? thats an absurd argument. i was merely commenting that the amount of news about anthrax was way out of proportion with the news of our attacks. least from the news i have been getting. im in the process of correcting that.

   3. flags. as if that hasnt been discussed enough. As for the flags, can't people just be supporting their country? And exactly how does it breed racism and stereotyping? Just loving this country doesn't necessarily mean you hate Afghanistan. Isn't that assumption just another example of stereotyping? Couldn't it just be that the flag people are showing appreciation for the freedom and opportunity that this country affords? hm. well. yes, people can show their pride for the country. and no, i dont have much of a problem with that, though again, im not sure i agree. what i do hate though is this: it has become a trend. popular. linda asked if trends can be positive things. i still have no answer. but i do know that this trend reduces the value of the actual element. it becomes less powerful. some of you might disagree, fair enough. but i maintain that we dont need flags on cars. who sees them? bin laudin? hardly. terrorists? perhaps. but if they do, its only going to make them more determined. thats the pissing contest. we put them on our cars and we prove to everyone around us that we are more american than those without. you putting one on your car shows me, tells me that you are proud. its a peer pressure type of thing and im not buying. thats all. as for the stereotyping…well, here is a story matt told me. he was driving down 64 west the other day, towards the beach. he sees a big truck with a flag. not just a flag, but a flag on a flagpole, attached in the bed of the truck. a biiig flag. in soap on the back window it said 'in god we trust.' now this is absurd, but not evil. but the pole had 2 piece of string going from the flag to the hood, to keep the pole straight. banners were attached to the string which read 'fuck muslims.' thats the type of shit that i hate. i hate that this american flag trend, the entire war has the ability to turn people into racial, bigoted assholes. it turns it into an 'us against them' thing, which is bad. harmful. dangerous. if you disagree with that, try researching all the muslims that were attacked in this country since 9/11.
   4. Did you hear it on Radio One? (because if you're thinking England, keep in mind that Tony "I pledge full military and financial support" Blair has his dick hanging out there with the rest of them) If you've found some place that's handing out all-expenses paid citizenships I'll gladly come with. But if you don't want to worry about money, maybe you should stop blowing it on records, comic books, parts for your computer, and shitty horror movies from the producers of "House on Haunted Hill." You don't like consumerism? Stop consuming. If you spent less time buying things you don't need, maybe you'd have more time to spend on your artistic endeavors. now this is what really got me. 1. i dont want to move to england. just because i live and breath radio1 doesnt mean i want to move there. if anything, i want to move to northern europe: where it is cold, english is not spoken and the government is more socialist. im not looking for a magical place without money, where i can live for free. but i am a socialist at heart and like people to be treated fairly and, on many levels, equally. do i blow money? sure. who are you to judge what i blow money on though? this is a fight my sister and i always have. i consume things for my mind - music, books, movies. the computer part or 2 helps me produce. she buys things like pictures and clothes (or at least she used to). neither is more correct. you go to the movies with me, you buy records and cds and books too. i dont hate consuming itself; i hate consuming the 'american way.' i hate the consuming just to consume. i hate wal-mart. i hate disposible things. i hate fast food.
      and mike? my consuming has nothing to do with my lack of time for artistic endeavors. that comes from taking 18 credit hours, 15 of them studio classes and working 20-30 hours a week on top of that. and then trying to find time to create all the other things i am interested in.