'first person to see that bone'

good news first.
i feel a lot better today. after worrying a bit about my body last night, i spoke to the doctor. he explained how my body might need another day or two to recover from everything its been through this week.

it would appear, without having had my consolation with the doctor offcially yet, that i have ulcerative colitis, which, while managable, is still really scary to me. its way more than i wanted to be wrong with me, even though it could be tons worse.
i had an eye opening talk with linda on the phone yesterday. i almost cried. which wasnt bad. well, the reasons i felt weird about it were twofold. 1. i was about to go hear a lecture at the musuem, and didnt want to walk in a mess and 2. it wasnt roxy. roxy hasnt seen me cry and i felt like crying and dealing with it with linda was somehow unfair to roxy. it was weird in my head. but the talk was good nonetheless. later on in the evening, chris kept my spirits way up by giving me a list of things i can still do. its a bit long, ill post it at the bottom of this post so you can see all the things he reminded me i can still do. its nice.

i had a lot of thoughts i wanted to share in the past 24 hours, and now ive forgotten them all. they were all silly - like: disney needs to chill on the sequels (cinderella 2 out now?), but at least they are respecting the styles of the orginals (though i think their last 8 movies or so have been sorely lacking style and thus, less interesting); that mcdonalds offering a dollar menu is both weird and scary (their food is already bad enough, do i really need to feel as if im getting a value there?); that after hearing how great skeleton was going to be on the olympics, it was nothing but a disappointment when i saw it last night; that its been really amazing how open people have been about themselves after they find out i had a colonscopy; that the fact ive been placed on 12 asacol tablets a day is both a bit scary and way too many (since 2 days ago, i considered myself healthy); that (for the record) chris was apparantly kidding about me posting pictures of my colon (and the pictures have both bored and disgusted people); that my animation i posted yesterday generated no news.

on that note, ive posted my other 2 pieces that i wanted to get up this week.
one is 'the wheels of time,' a computer generated piece from last semester. i decided to post the line capture because i could never get my renders the way i saw them in my head. plus the hidden line capture looks freaking cool.

the other is part one of a series i am currently creating.

im going to try to post another 2 or 3 pieces in the next 2 or 3 weeks.

here is chris' list of what i can still do, even if i have crappy colon problems:

mrpagsman: I don't see anything in there about not being able to enjoy radio one
mrpagsman: or not being able to dance
mrpagsman: or not building crazy fucking stereo systems
mrpagsman: or not going to three record stores and blowing hundreds of dollars on vinyl
mrpagsman: or not drinking margaritas
mrpagsman: or not banging your girlfriend till next tuesday
mrpagsman: or not laughing throught The Predator
mrpagsman: or not hosting a website for your friends and family
mrpagsman: or not making crazy fucking movies about hooking up and breaking up
mrpagsman: or not drawing cartoons about the same subject
mrpagsman: or not designing crazy mobius strip like websites to turn William S. Burroughs green with envy
mrpagsman: or not throwing off the hook New Years Parties
mrpagsman: or not going to England
mrpagsman: so life is still good

he still has no idea how cool i found this. thanks again chris.
and thanks everyone who has helped me get around this in my head the past 24 hours.