'sirens'

i seriously think i may be dying.

this is probably extreme, but its not far from the truth.

i think i might get hospitalized today/tonight. the best part is that im kinda hoping for it. its that bad.

im certain its an infection.

im also back in town and extremely unhappy. for the above reasons. try not to cross me; my patience for bullshit/excuses/etc is nonexistant.

* * *

update: dr still thinks its colitis, movedmy colonscopy from next fri to tomorrow. at 7.30am. thinks i will probably have to go on steroids.

will be checked into the hospital (presumably for an iv) if i cant hold down fluids. considering the builion i just had, my first non-just water substance today ran through me, i am assuming ill be in the hospital tomorrow.

im greatly worried for my health and dont want to gross people out about taking stool samples and such. but ive lost a ton of blood, had a fever last night, had nonstop cramps, pain and naseua the last…48 hours or so. so im concerned.

ill be high as a kite until prob 10 or 11 tomorrow, my time. but youre welcome to phone me anytime after that. i hope someone on ehre will talk to me and then update, so you can also check here. figure the site ought to come in handy somehow. about time i used it for what it is worth.

(and jokn, addme back to your list already. its been almost a month you ass.)

* * *

one more update as news develops: the fever has retrned (im unsure if this is because its night again, because i took my flushing me out meds for tomorrow or just pure luck.) the cheap 'hold to your forehead' thermometer is reading almost 102. so john is going out to get me a real one and has vowed to take me to the hospital if i hit 103. now if i didnt think i was going to puke every couple of minutes.

my body is really fucked up.