'i am waiting for the dictation'

i am in the hospital. i am watching mexican soccer. the doctors still don't know what's going on. at various times, esp. today, they have thought that i have had 1) bacteria 2) infection 3) need for a blood transfusion. all of these, so far, appear to be false. also today i have had 4 mg of morphine, which contrary to popular imagination, doesn't get you very high. they will move me to a stronger drug in a couple of days if they cant get the colitis under control, and probably at the end of next week start talking about surgery if needed i have gotten flowers from cindy and john and many phone calls and text messages.

i have mastered my crappy daytime tv cable schedule: jerry springer, the price is right, texas justice, divorce court, blind date, ex-treme dating, elimi-date, the 5th wheel, and the simpsons.

i'll be in here, almost assuredly until wednesday, if not longer. i still can't check e-mail but if you send things through the site to other people, i am sure they will find their way to me. linda, roxy, and carter have been especially conversant. (someone just scored – apparently in spanish, goal is speller G-O-L. also, i think it is menudo against menudo. they all have the fake perm, jerry curl, short-long hairstyle and racheal is calling me a racist.)

i am eating semi-normal food two times a day and two IVs, one of which gets placed tonight, which means more needles in my arm. also, they have drawn blood every day i have been here from my other arm. when they thought that i had bacteria in my stool, they kicked out my roommate to a different room and put a bright green sticker on my room door which reads "contact precautions" with a long list of . . . contact precautions, which include "caution when entering this room" and "make contact with nurse before entering this room", "persons entering the room must put on a gown with the patient or anything in the room and discard gown when leaving." no one is allowed to use my bathroom and they are supposed to wear gloves. ps – no one is wearing their gowns.

racheal has been here since yesterday and will be here til tomorrow. she has been sleeping in a la-z-boy type recliner.

-as dictated to linda via telephone 7.58 EST 3/27/04. personal note – no they, are not having sex there - yes, i asked - because racheal is afraid of getting poo squirted on her. make your own party-pooper jokes here.