madeofglass.com

a collection of reflections by people i have known

by tripp

its sunday morning, 11.00 am. and i am a free man once again.

im home, out of the hospital.

what does this mean?

it means i live not only with john, but for the next few days, i live with both of my parents here at the apartment. they will drive me crazy.

it means i have internet again. this is a good thing.

it means that i wasnt in very long. the surgery went smoothly and quickly on wed and things progressed pretty quickly from there. though i didnt respond well to the morphine this time and threw up a bit on fri morning. all this means that its only been 4 days since i was cut open and rewired again. i havent had too much time to heal. so im sore, tired, on pain meds and get pretty awful cramps when i eat. but my insides seem to be slowing down some, so i think in the future, the frequent bathroom breaks souldnt be too awful.

the hospital was much more boring this time, the drugs were worse and it just wasnt a real fun time. so im glad to be home but want desperatly to continue improving quickly so i can be at some level of normalcy before i try and make it up to seattle next week.

more later i am sure. (also, as i will have little energy, im sure ill be within reach of my laptop the next week. so if youre bored, feel free to chat me up. goodness knows ill be bored a lot i imagine.)

* * *

so im miserable and bored. i tried laying on my side a little while ago and it felt like my insides were coming out. or at least shifting like mad. so thats out. i spent the afternoon in bed, reading ‘knightfall’ (which isnt very good) and catching up with people. there is no tv in here and i simply couldnt sit in a chair anymore. so it seems ive traded the joy of tv in bed in the hospital for my own bed and internet. sure, its nice to be home. but i feel pretty darn rotten. no, not rotten. sick. sore. knotted inside.

for those of you keeping score though, i went to the bathroom only 3 times yesterday and only once so far today. thats good. (though im tired of everyone asking if im excited about being able to poop again. seriously. ive been asked this by almost everyone. frankly, i havent really missed it. too much info: i had to give myself enemas during the last few months and that part of my body was still producing lining even though poo wasnt going through. so stuff was still coming out of my ass. so no, i didnt miss poo coming out. and im not all that excited about it coming out again. though when you consider what kind of hell i went through with the blood and all coming from my ass, its no wonder i could take it or leave it. im just surprised at how many people asked about it.)

something to do very soon – move my writing playlist to this machine along with the mp3s on it. though being able to stream from my other machine through itunes is soooooo sweet. if it would only mark the songs as played when i played them over a network connection. im so fucking picky.

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