yesterday, rent was due.

i was walking out the door (almost). i grabbed my checkbook and went to pee before heading off to work. i set the checkbook down on the ikea container/table/shelves thing beside the toilet.

and then watched, in slow motion, as the checkbook slid off and into the toilet.

now, before we go too much farther — the water was clean and, because iw as watching in slow motion, i was reaching for it as it hit the water. it didnt spend much time in there. just enough to wet some edges of paper and to have the plastic get a little wet.

i grabbed it out of the water and dried it off the best i could with toilet paper.

great. in the spirit of puke shorts, i now have toilet checks. wonderful.

and rent is due. so i wipe the checkbook down again. its dry, though the top few checks are damp. i write my rent check.

you better believe im using these checks. what? am i supposed to throw the whole thing away because it touched clean toilet water? sorry. in my family, thats known as wasteful.

but the check is still damp. so then i microwave it to dry the water off of it.

15 seconds and that paper is nice and crispy, ready to be shipped off.

i would like to believe that the microwave killed any pretend germs lurking in the water. i have been informed that there is no 3 second rule to dropping things in the toilet. i disagree. and counter with the fact it wasnt in the toilet three seconds. three seconds is a long time.

long live toilet checks.

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