on the train again. it is a monday morning. for the first time in quite a while, i feel…good. not good like ‘today was a good day’ good, but good way down inside.

i hope this is some sort of indication that my funk and stress are lifting. or, if not lifting, that i am getting a better handle on them.

the days i take caltrain into the city, i write in the morning and read in the evenings. but i also buy a coffee at the train stop on my way in and usually sit and drink it before i dive into tip-tip-tipping away on the keyboard. i end up composing a dozen posts, story fragments and thoughts while i drink and they always get lost. today is no exception.

i thought about: watching the train race by while i was on the platform and the feeling of contentment i got from watching it race by, kicking up leaves in its wake; emma, my australian penpal who i spoke to briefly yesterday; the new tv i believe i have decided to buy, from costco (who, it is rumored, might be changing its return policy — something that has me mildly concerned about my purchase); the number of balls i have in the air at work and debates some decisions are going to cause (and the perhaps unhealthy way i let my work define me and how personally i take the projects i work on); how great meat beat manifesto’s ’subliminal sandwich’ album is, even 10 years on; how i really need to figure something out dj-wise; the people i see everytime i ride the train (and wondering what they think of me, as i am reminded of the rem video for ‘everybody hurts’); how crazy and upside down the next 6 weeks or so of my life will probably be and wondering whether i will be riding in the front car or the back car of this roller coaster; thinking that i need to go to kinkos and print out some writing so i can stare at it on paper; thinking about this website, the development that i want to do, the designs i have no yet mocked up and the disjointedness i think still hangs over it (and perhaps has since i got sick even); wondering how much money i should be saving and what kind of math i need to do to decide upon retirement goals.

Popularity: 1% [?]