'next to me'

sigh.

its sunday night and i have no real idea where the weekend went. i don't have enough to show for it. im sitting here, on sunday night, drinking cuban rum (thanks kurt!) and wishing it wasn't sunday.

i think my mac mini has to go back to the shop. it has been coughing a lot, to the point of me re-installing tiger yesterday. and then today, it has had 4 kernal panics. yeah, i think it is safe to say that something isnt right. having never dealt with faulty apple hardware before, i am loathe to admit that it is having problems; i dont want to deal with it. but clearly something isn't right. i wanted to blame it on a specific program, but the last panic happened when only itunes was opened, so i dont think i can point at anything but some weird hardware issue at this point. (and software or hardware, a clean os and itunes shouldnt cause a fault — and it is certainly apples fault if it does have issue.)

otherwise the weekend seems to have consisted of me internalizing r's grad school app process, which can't be healthy for either of us. i have stayed away from it, but i think the unknown factors and fear of the future has really gotten the better of me now. there isn't an easy fix nor is there a point to worrying over things i cant control.

have i mentioned how much i hate my next door neighbor? i don't think i have. he plays his tv at all hours at excessive volumes. it really is awful and uncalled for. i want to believe the walls are thin. but i dont think this is the entire problem.

i can't wait to move into an apartment bigger than the one we have now. it is getting crowded. of course, that apartment could be anywhere in the united states almost so its certainly a give and take there.

i'm staring at the photos on the wall. i have plastic hangers that hold something like a dozen photos on the wall in long straight sleeves. most everyone i know has a place in these; i have 4 and i think almost every friend i know is hanging on my wall, albeit in a drunken pose. mike, andru, ben, petunia, me, eric, roxy, goose, ray, carter, my father, even goth robert all appear from where i am sitting and they make up less than 50% of the total. nostalgia is a powerful drug, kids.

the neighbors tv is so loud. its really annoying.

and hey, make that 5 kernal panics in a day, again with only itunes open. sonofabitch. guess i know what i am doing next weekend. arg.

and seriously, he needs to turn that tv way down. ass.

i guess its times to gulp the rum and escape to the bedroom. yeah, maybe being a homeowner isn't so bad after all.