radio athletico

i spoke to my parents several times this weekend. a usual event, but this time around, they (mainly my father) kept asking 'what was going on?'

this is the type of question i hate, though i use it a lot. how many times have i asked you 'what else?' when playing catch-up? too many. it isn't a secret, just hypocritical.

and the truth?

nothing is going on. the funk i was feeling seems to have washed over and away somehow. i don't feel frustration at the moment wondering what my life is supposed to be, what i am supposed to do to make a difference, overwhelmed by the realization that i am one of millions and millions of humans alive right at this moment. and that, for the history of mankind, the odds are against me in terms of doing anything to impact mankinds path.

whew. no wonder i was having trouble with life.

so what am i doing? what am i up to?

i don't know, honestly. i have been doing a lot of hanging out, meeting people, seeing people, talking, drinking. just letting go.

but that's boring. it doesn't make good stories. or blog posts.

i can't make up for it at the moment, but i can give you two pictures to at least give your eyes something to see:

1. me as the caterpillar in my 5th grade 'alice in wonderland' play. i was already an alice junkie beforehand — i remember walking in and saying i wanted to play the caterpillar or bill the lizard. of course, this was the disney version and there was no bill the lizard. i got the part of the caterpillar and, thanks to the costume my mom made, i rocked the house. i was seriously uncool at this point in my life, but this was a little rainbow that shined through.

2. a portrait taken on the train last week. i have a script on my computer to take a picture with the isight every 30 minutes, dumped into a folder. i haven't done anything with them yet, save posting this one. most are bad and unflattering. this one wasn't, so i figured i'd throw up a recent picture of myself.