my golden rule

I'm not sure when I came to this conclusion in life or when I really got behind this belief, but there is one rule I've rocked for years:

You can't complain about something unless you have done everything in your power to change it.

It isn't an easy one to get through always. There is always more to be done with something, whatever the issue. But it's worked pretty well as a general rule of thumb and I would say that it has cut out a lot of wasted energy. It has helped me let go of quite a bit over the years.

Kottke linked to a couple of items about whining and complaining the other day. Those also reminded me of the quote by Henry Rollins about hate, which is another one of the things I try hard to avoid in life.

Hating someone is giving them too much, Just leave them alone. Its like when someone wants to hand you a big pile of horseshit, you don't have to take it.

I'm pretty sure he goes on to say that by hating someone, you're giving them too much energy — hating means you're still invested. That you still care. Which defeats the point of hating. That or you need to go back to step one and do something to change it.